I guess you could say I feel a little bit of resentment towards them.
Things just seem to come so easily to them. They have this nice house that was handed over to them by my ex husband's wife's sister. Somehow they were able to buy themselves each a new vehicle. They have all the newest game systems, which my daughter; Shaunalee, is not allowed to play with: They are strictly DAD'S TOYS. Hah, D-bag.
They're lives have been so easy.
They're RELATIONSHIP has been too easy and it pisses me off. I won't even get into the struggles my family has faced in order to get to where we are today, but I will tell you one thing: IT AIN'T EVER BEEN EASY FOR US. Shit, I don't think I even uttered the word "easy" for about 3 years.
But here I am sitting at my kitchen table, in my apartment, under the luminescent lighting of the PG&E, writing on my very own computer on this lovely day in which I don't even have to work! All thing's I didn't have 2 years ago, I wasn't sure if I ever would have a life like this again. We have been blessed, and I give thanks everyday.
Back to issue at hand though, after Shaunalee got home last night from spending the weekend with her dad and step mom; let's just call em' "Al and Peg", Shauna tells me that over the weekend she had developed abdominal cramps. So instead of assuming it was gas and she just needed to fart; like I probably would have and she just would have farted and everything would've been all good...
But no. Of course not. Drama Queen "Peg" has to make a situation out of it, take my daughter to her bathroom and give her a hand full of panty liners and proceed to educate her all about her uterine wall shedding and yada, yada. The WHOLE SHABANG!
So my daughter comes home with a new knowledge of sex and puberty. I had already grazed the surface with her but I didn't really think it was time to dive all the way in and tell her everything, she just turned 10 this Halloween for croc's sake.
I know that it's a new world today than it was when I was growing up and our children are exposed to so much nowadays through school, the internet and damned social networking. But is it wrong for me to want to preserve my daughters innocence? Am I wrong for being so angry with "Peg"? I feel like she stole something from me, something very precious that can not be replaced.
When Shauna told me about it, I got so upset. I yelled and said rude thing's about Peg and Al both. And that's something I try hard to refrain from doing, it's not fair to Shauna. Now I feel horrible, so I turn here. I would love some input, someone please tell me I'm not a monster and that you know exactly how I'm feeling.
From now on I'm going to bring my "baby-daddy" issues here. Thanks for reading my little rant here, I think there must be at least someone who can relate to this. With the number of single parents in the world. Not just mothers, I want to acknowledge that there are a lot of single fathers, very devoted to their children that deal with "dead-beat baby-mama-drama" all the time and know exactly what this anger and resentment feels like.
If you're like me and you're reading this please share this article, or comment. Or even click on the little "G +1" thingy at the bottom of the article. Everyone loves encouragement, and I am no different, so be a peach and show some love ;) <3 I am Jesse Lee and I am a writer, and every writer need's her readers. Faithful readers you will not be let down, it won't all be single mom bitching about puberty, gosh! That would just be lame!
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